Over the past few months I have been facilitating 3.5 hour diversity training sessions around the state of Iowa. The topic of diversity is an interesting one as it is something that most people don’t think they need, but they have many opinions about. There are many different tactics to use to embrace diversity, create an environment of cooperation, and resolve conflict, but the foundation of it all is respect for one another.
Here is a great ‘feel good’ video where differences are accepted and friendship rules. We can all learn something!
Thank you for visiting my blog! I’ll apologize a head of time . . . I have a feeling this could be a long one!
Have you ever heard the quote:
“It’s hard to see the forest when you’re standing in front of a tree.”
Doug Wells/Des Moines Register File Photo
Over the last year the town of Parkersburg, Iowa has been rebuilding after a tornado ripped it apart. This morning the town suffered another tragedy as Ed Thomas, a well known Iowa high school football coach and teacher was shot multiple times in the school’s weight room. There were approximately 30 witnesses, but none were threatened and/or injured. You can read more about this by clicking on the links at the bottom of the page. The shooter is a 24 year old male who was a former student and player for Coach Thomas.
When I hear stories like this I of course feel bad and have great sympathy for the people a tragedy like this effects. The sad thing is this is just “another story”. It’s just another story of some young man who can’t manage his emotions and chooses to harm others and or himself.
This is the story this week and there will a new one next week!
Why does this keep happening?
What are we not seeing?
What are we missing?
What social conditions have we created is leading to this issue time after time after time.
Today the tragedy is in Parkersburg, Iowa. Last year at South East Polk High School near Des Moines they had three suicides in a span of five months. All teen boys.
Scan the following bullet points:
February 2, 1996 – Moses Lake, Washington Two students and one teacher killed, one other wounded when 14-year-old Barry Loukaitis opened fire on his algebra class.
Feb. 19, 1997 – Bethel, Alaska
Principal and one student killed, two others wounded by Evan Ramsey, 16.
Oct. 1, 1997 – Pearl, Mississippi Two students killed and seven wounded by Luke Woodham, 16, who was also accused of killing his mother.
Dec. 1, 1997 – West Paducah, Kentucky
Three students killed, five wounded by Michael Carneal, 14, as they participated in a prayer circle at Heath High School.
Dec. 15, 1997 – Stamps, Ark.
Two students wounded. Colt Todd, 14, was hiding in the woods when he shot the students as they stood in the parking lot.
March 24, 1998 – Jonesboro, Ark.
Four students and one teacher killed, ten others wounded outside as Westside Middle School emptied during a false fire alarm. Mitchell Johnson, 13, and Andrew Golden, 11, shot at their classmates and teachers from the woods.
April 24, 1998 – Edinboro, Pa.
One teacher, John Gillette, killed, two students wounded at a dance at James W. Parker Middle School. Andrew Wurst, 14, was charged.
May 19, 1998 – Fayetteville, Tenn. One student killed in the parking lot at Lincoln County High School three days before he was to graduate. The victim was dating the ex-girlfriend of his killer, 18-year-old honor student Jacob Davis.
May 21, 1998 – Springfield, Oregon
Two students killed, 22 others wounded in the cafeteria at Thurston High School by 15-year-old Kip Kinkel. Kinkel had been arrested and released a day earlier for bringing a gun to school. His parents were later found dead at home.
June 15, 1998 – Richmond, Va.
One teacher and one guidance counselor wounded by a 14-year-old boy in the school hallway.
April 20, 1999 – Littleton, Colo.
14 students (including killers) and one teacher killed, 23 others wounded at Columbine High School in the nation’s deadliest school shooting. Eric Harris, 18, and Dylan Klebold, 17, had plotted for a year to kill at least 500 and blow up their school. At the end of their hour-long rampage, they turned their guns on themselves.
May 20, 1999 – Conyers, Georgia Six students injured at Heritage High School by Thomas Solomon, 15, who was reportedly depressed after breaking up with his girlfriend.
Nov. 19, 1999 – Deming, New Mexico
Victor Cordova Jr., 12, shot and killed Araceli Tena, 13, in the lobby of Deming Middle School.
Dec. 6, 1999 – Fort Gibson, Oklahoma Four students wounded as Seth Trickey, 13, opened fire with a 9mm semiautomatic handgun at Fort Gibson Middle School.
Feb. 29, 2000 – Mount Morris Township, Michigan Six-year-old Kayla Rolland shot dead at Buell Elementary School near Flint, Mich. The assailant was identified as a six-year-old boy with a .32-caliber handgun.
March 10, 2000 – Savannah, Georgia Two students killed by Darrell Ingram, 19, while leaving a dance sponsored by Beach High School.
May 26, 2000 – Lake Worth, Florida
One teacher, Barry Grunow, shot and killed at Lake Worth Middle School by Nate Brazill, 13, with .25-caliber semiautomatic pistol on the last day of classes.
March 5, 2001 – Santee, California
Two killed and 13 wounded by Charles Andrew Williams, 15, firing from a bathroom at Santana High School.
March 22, 2001 – Granite Hills, California
One teacher and three students wounded by Jason Hoffman, 18, at Granite Hills High School. A policeman shot and wounded Hoffman.
March 30, 2001 – Gary, Indiana One student killed by Donald R. Burt, Jr., a 17-year-old student who had been expelled from Lew Wallace High School.
Nov. 12, 2001 – Caro, Michigan Chris Buschbacher, 17, took two hostages at the Caro Learning Center before killing himself.
October 28, 2002 – Tucson, Arizona
Robert S. Flores Jr., 41, a student at the nursing school at the University of Arizona, shot and killed three female professors and then himself.
April 24, 2003 – Red Lion, Pa.
James Sheets, 14, killed principal Eugene Segro of Red Lion Area Junior High School before killing himself.
Sept. 24, 2003 – Cold Spring, Minnesota
Two students are killed at Rocori High School by John Jason McLaughlin, 15.
March 21, 2005 – Red Lake, Minnesota
Jeff Weise, 16, killed grandfather and companion, then arrived at school where he killed a teacher, a security guard, 5 students, and finally himself, leaving a total of 10 dead.
Aug. 24, 2006 – Essex, Vermont
Christopher Williams, 27, looking for his ex-girlfriend at Essex Elementary School, shot two teachers, killing one and wounding another. Before going to the school, he had killed the ex-girlfriend’s mother.
Sept. 27, 2006 – Bailey, Colorado
Adult male held six students hostage at Platte Canyon High School and then shot and killed Emily Keyes, 16, and himself.
Oct. 3, 2006 – Nickel Mines, Pennsyvania
32-year-old Carl Charles Roberts IV entered the one-room West Nickel Mines Amish School and shot 10 schoolgirls, ranging in age from 6 to 13 years old, and then himself. Five of the girls and Roberts died.
Jan. 3, 2007- Tacoma, Washington
Douglas Chanthabouly, 18, shot fellow student Samnang Kok, 17, in the hallway of Henry Foss High School.
April 16, 2007 – Blacksburg, Virginia
A 23-year-old Virginia Tech student, Cho Seung-Hui, killed two in a dorm, then killed 30 more 2 hours later in a classroom building. His suicide brought the death toll to 33, making the shooting rampage the most deadly in U.S. history. Fifteen others were wounded.
Sept. 21, 2007 – Dover, Deleware
A Delaware State Univesity Freshman, Loyer D. Brandon, shot and wounded two other Freshman students on the University campus. Brandon is being charged with attempted murder, assault, reckless engagement, as well as a gun charge.
Oct. 10, 2007 – Cleveland, Ohio
14-year-old student at a Cleveland high school, Asa H. Coon, shot and injured two students and two teachers before he shot and killed himself. The victims’ injuries were not life-threatening.
Feb. 11, 2008 – Memphis, Tennessee
A 17-year-old student at Mitchell High School shot and wounded a classmate in gym class.
Feb. 12, 2008- Oxnard, California
A 14-year-old boy shot a student at E.O. Green Junior High School causing the 15-year-old victim to be brain dead.
Feb. 14, 2008 – DeKalb, Illinois
Gunman killed five students and then himself, and wounded 17 more when he opened fire on a classroom at Northern Illinois University. The gunman, Stephen P. Kazmierczak, was identified as a former graduate student at the university in 2007.
June 24, 2009 – Parkersburg, Iowa
Did you notice any consistencies throughout each bullet point?
89% of all murder and non negligent manslaughter are committed by males
98% of all forcible rape are committed by males
89% of all robberies are committed by males
78% of aggravated assaults are committed by males
85% of all burglaries are committed by males
If you visit the FBI website you will see a much longer list of crimes that are also dominated by males. I am focusing on males in this blog because the majority of events like the one today are committed by young males. In fact, the majority of major crimes are committed by males. When you mix that with statistics of young boys without male leadership and the statics that show how boys are falling behind educationally . . . I think it’s something we should focus on!
What is my point with all this?
My point is WE AS A SOCIETY ARE MISSING SOMETHING!
We are struggling in each area of life:
Health
Finances
Relationships
Careers
Adults are having a hard time managing their lives . . . how they hell are we supposed to expect children to figure it out? How are we supposed to expect children to grow up to be responsible contributors to society when we aren’t doing it.
SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE!
In our homes
In our schools
In our businesses
In our churches
In our communities
In this country
Clearly what we are doing now IS NOT WORKING! And if it is . . . we wouldn’t be in the messes we are in. We wouldn’t have so many people wandering around trying to ‘figure it out’. We wouldn’t have good, bright, and talented children running around trying to figure things out and deal with the craziness of the world on their own.
Today in Parkersburg was a tragedy. This 24 year old kid has forever changed the world for himself and many others. We’ll talk about the situation for a few months . . . we’ll talk about him and wonder why for a few months . . . and then we’ll forget about him until the next time this happens . . . and we’ll do it all over again.
How bad does it need to get before we wake up? What can you do to help?
Recently I read a book by Marshall Goldsmith titled – “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There!
The book is about 20 habits that can lead to great success, but in the end can prevent us from ultimate success and fulfillment. When I first read the book I believe I was just relating the information to business. After reviewing the list again, these are great principals for life.
Enjoy!
20. An Excessive need to be yourself.
19. Passing the Buck
18. Punishing the Messenger
17. Failure to Express Gratitude
16. Not Listening
15. Refusing to Express Regret
14. Playing Favorites
13. Clinging to the Past
12. Making Excuses
11. Claiming Credit We Don’t Deserve
10. Failing to Give Proper Recognition
9. Withholding of Information
8. Negativity 0r – “Let Me Explain Why That Won’t Work”
7. Speaking When Angry
6. Telling the World How Smart We Are
5. Starting with “No”, “But, or “However”
4. Making Destructive Comments
3. Passing Judgement
2. Adding Too Much Value
1. Winning Too Much
There you have it. Don’t do any of these things and chances are you will experience an amazing amount of success!
You can purchase this book right now at Amazon.com by clicking here.
This morning when was at the gym and I was watching one of the national news programs and they had on Archie Manning on. Archie is a former Quarterback of the New Orleans Saints and father of Peyton Manning and Eli Manning; both Peyton and Eli are Super Bowl winning quarterbacks and Super Bowl MVP’s.
AP Photo 13 months ago
I was particularly interested in this because I have often wondered what life was like in the Manning household and how much Archie pressured Peyton and Eli to play sports. One of the first questions that Archie responded to was just that. Archie said:
“We didn’t push them to play sports, we were just trying to raise good kids.”
A few minutes later they surprised Archie with a phone call from Eli Manning and they asked Eli a similar question. Eli said that they were never pressured in to playing sports. He said no matter what they wanted to do their parents were there to support them, however whatever they did they were expected to give it their all.
They then asked Eli about their dad the football player and what kind of role model he was. Eli said he never paid much attention to it, but growing up his dad was always a great role model and kind to his fans. He said he would put in the extra time to sign autographs etc. As a result Eli notices that he does the same thing. He said
“I just do it . . . it’s all I’ve ever known.”
That is pretty powerful right there. “I just do it . . . it’s all I’ve ever known.” I don’t care who you are or what situation you are in . . . this is a great example of the power of parenting. It is a reminder to all parents that our children are the product of the environment we create for them and the experiences we give them. We need to ask ourselves:
What if this is all they remember?
How are we preparing them for the world ahead?
Will they look back and be proud?
Are we doing everything we can?
Now, initially I questioned whether I wanted to use the examples of the Manning family because I know there will be people that are going to make excuses for their good luck . . . celebrity . . . money . . . race. And to that I say BULL SHIT!
The message is universal: Not only do we need to love our children, but we must understand they are products of our parenting. If we care and try . . . they are more likely to care and try. If we sit on our asses and make excuses . . . they are more likely to sit their asses and make excuses.
Recently I read a book by Marshall Goldsmith titled – “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There!